I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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