It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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