I hate your face
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
