Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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