Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
