I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The ass gains better be worth it
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