Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
there's paper in my vomit.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
