he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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