life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
