I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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