Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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