Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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