I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize