I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
