Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
