I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
