i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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