I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
