How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
