dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
