Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
