But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
