ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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