Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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