Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
