This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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