The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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