? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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