I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
