i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
