Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
