2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
