Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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