Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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