she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
