about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
