do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
