Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
