do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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