ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
