I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
