Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
