my being single is dangerous.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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