i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
nutella sex= disaster
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
