We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
