Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
