i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
