he shaved USA in his pubs
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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