Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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