He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
