I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
